How Homelessness Has Impacted My Mental Health
I want to get real about two issues that are close to my heart, mental health and housing insecurity.
How is housing insecurity tied to mental health?
The unhoused population is often unfairly labeled as being a result of mental illness. In reality, the National Institute of Medicine tells us “epidemiological studies have consistently found that only about 25–30% of homeless persons have a severe mental illness such as schizophrenia.” 1 Which makes me wonder, what impact does being unhoused or experiencing housing insecurity have on mental health?
The first impactful experience I had with homelessness was at 13. I wasn’t fully aware of how or why I was in this situation or what it truly meant, but I knew I didn’t feel like myself. Positive there was something wrong with me, I poured over a copy of the DSM-IV hoping to self-diagnose. If I could find the problem with me, I thought, I could fix it and be happy again.
It wasn’t until many years later I realized that it was never me, it was my environment.
If you really want to see me go off, make a negative comment about the behavior of someone who is experiencing homelessness. Angry, unpredictable, unmotivated. But wouldn’t you be?
Your environment is so crucial to your well-being. If your environment is not safe, stable, and meets your basic needs, your mental health can definitely take a plunge. Being in survival mode 24/7 means your nervous system is constantly dysregulated.
Who can take a deep breath and problem-solve when you’re constantly hungry and don’t know where you’re sleeping tonight?
For me, once I did get out of survival mode into safety, it took some practice to get my brain to keep up. I have been in a safe, secure situation for most of my adulthood. Yet, I still randomly feel panic as if something bad is going to happen to me. I love my home and although I know I’m good, sometimes I still need to say, out loud, “You’re safe here,” until my brain and body believe it.
Part of my experience with homelessness was learning to rely on only myself for the best results. I became self-reliant out of necessity. This is one of my best and worst traits, and while I give it credit for getting me this far, sometimes I get bitter that I had to be and wonder if I lean into it a little too much.
Do I believe in community care and collective efforts with my whole being? Yes.
Could I be better at asking for help when I need it? Also yes.
I know hyperindependence isn’t helpful in life, but it gets comfortable over here.
Curiously, the people I have known with the least amount of resources have been the most generous. When someone has nothing and then gets a little something, they want to share it, and I think that’s one of the most incredible facets of human nature I’ve ever witnessed.
Lastly, let’s talk about imposter syndrome.
So. Much. Imposter syndrome.
Every time I move up a step on the ladder of adulthood, it feels surreal.
When I am in spaces I never would have been in when I was homeless, I feel out of place. I worry about using the right language and expressing the right thing at the right time. And without fail, I always feel under or over-dressed.
When someone who I don’t know very well tells me, “Great job,” I immediately become suspicious.
Were they surprised that I did a great job?
Are they telling me this because they pity me and think I need a confidence boost?
You’ll never convince me that positive feedback actually means what it means unless I truly trust the person giving it.
We often think of mental health’s effects on homelessness, but not the other way around.
Whether you’re experiencing housing insecurity now or have in the past, it can have a huge, usually negative, impact on your thoughts and behaviors. It takes time and intention to feel good again, and most importantly, to find a safe place to be.
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1 National Library of Medicine. BJ Psych Bulletin, Oct. 2020, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/
PMC7525583/. Accessed 13 Aug. 2024.