We Need To Talk About Mental Health

For me (and I’m not proud of this) mental health was always something that was for weak people, for the snowflakes that couldn’t handle their shit.

College Becky is having a rough semester because she’s a bleeding heart so she’s having a “mental breakdown”.

Or super dramatic Andy is being his super dramatic self because he likes two people at once and can’t decide which one to go with.

Depression is for lazy people, anxiety isn’t real, etc.

Yeah. So as you can see I was completely ignorant.

And probably pretty arrogant too.

I was one of those guys that thought feelings should be reserved for girls, wusses, and talking about 9/11. 

OK, I was an idiot.

I grew up and got a job in a factory. I worked swing shift for years, switching from day shift to night shift every two weeks. I read a study that found it takes your body about 21 days to recalibrate to a sleep schedule, so we never got the sleep we needed. I remember many nights when I should've been sleeping, I was lying awake, or the times I was supposed to be sleeping during the day I couldn't because the sun was too bright or the road the next block over was being repaved (this world is not kind to night shift workers).

I was a different person when I was on nights. I was depressed constantly, and incredibly moody. But I couldn't talk about it or didn’t want to because I wasn’t weak. Suffering is just part of life, right?

I can't even count how many divorces I saw guys go through. And in hindsight, it all makes sense.

If anyone was like me they were probably complete assholes for at least half the month.

We missed family gatherings, birthday parties would have to be cut short, we missed suppers and bedtimes. The swing shift factory worker is a fairly absent family member. They work hard and put up with always being tired to make sure their family never goes hungry. But with all of that comes social isolation.

We see our family’s lives still go on without us through Facebook and other platforms.

Pretty soon we’ve missed so many holidays in a row that we no longer get invited. Friends don’t understand your schedule so they’ll eventually stop calling.

Mix in a dose of depression that comes with night shift plus feeling isolated and you’ll probably come up with something that looks a lot like substance abuse. A recent study by SAMHSA found that people that have a substance abuse issue are 10x more likely to commit suicide than the general population.

Yikes. Double Yikes.

Especially since the scenario I just painted is not unique to me.

I became more and more interested in my co-workers' mental health and experience with challenges they faced because I found power in not feeling so alone. I wasn’t the only one who was an asshole because I was depressed or exhausted. I wasn’t the only one that felt socially isolated and left behind.

The more open I was, the better I felt.

And the crazy part? So did everyone else.

It doesn't take much to get someone to talk. People are so starved for someone to just listen to them. I can nearly guarantee that if you’re feeling a certain way, someone close to you probably is too. It just takes one of you to make the first move to say something.

A few years ago I met a dude that quickly became a really good friend.

He was much more open about his mental health issues than any guy I’ve ever known. He has Major Depression, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and has plenty of suicidal ideation.

He put a human face to Bipolar Disorder.  I never knew anyone that was (openly) bipolar.

Maybe your first thought after reading that is probably “wow he sounds like a barrel of fun” but he’s high functioning, fucking hilarious, and seemingly normal.

If you didn't know him well, you would never be able to tell.

But we talk about things.

I no longer work there but we still regularly check in on each other and see how our mental health is on any particular day. It makes me feel better, and I hope it helps him too.

My point is, if we would just talk, even a little, we could all feel better.

I know the stigma and I get it.

Ryan Reynolds has come out and opened up about his anxiety. The Rock talks about his depression. NFL Wide Receiver Brandon Marshall has Borderline Personality Disorder. NBA star Kevin Love admits he has major debilitating panic attacks and Olympic superman Michael Phelps recently started talking about his bouts with depression and suicidal ideation. 

The old “It’s ok to not be ok” rings true.

But if we would just talk about it, it would help everyone… even dudes as ignorant as I once was… because the more we talk about it, the more we normalize it for everyone. Once the door get’s opened, real healing can begin.