Weariness & Hope

This was originally posted on our Facebook page on October 8th, 2021.

I am weary.
Some days are like this.

I have enough co-annoying disorders and invisible illnesses that I can’t necessarily point to one and give it all the blame. I also wear a lot of hats (figuratively).

Is my depression making me tired?
Maybe.

Does my body hurt due to anxiety, depression, or hormonal issues?
Maybe.

Do I feel like I may collapse into a nap puddle and cry myself to sleep in the middle of any social event because I struggle with social anxiety or is it a thyroid thing?
Seriously, who knows?

Is it just the stress of juggling normal life, a new business, a furnace that quit, etc. that makes me feel like I’ve tumbled through a dryer with a pair of shoes?
Could be any of the above.

In the end, regardless of what co-annoying affliction seems to be shoving me down a tired tunnel at the pace of about a 100 WTFs a minute, the fact remains - I’m weary.

But the thing that keeps these weary brain muscles going, that fills my heart and fuels my forward motion is HOPE.

Hope is the line between ideation and actually being suicidal.

Hope is the line between grief and collapse.

Hope is the one foot in front of the other that gets us where we need to go even when the journey is long and exhausting.

I find hope in my peers.
I find it in my husband and stepson.
I find it in my greater purpose.
I find it in meaningful work.
I find it in my dogs.
I find it in TikTok videos that make me laugh.

My point is, when I look hard enough I can always find it. And I do my best to give it to others every chance I get.

If you’re struggling to find hope, reach out. Let someone else light your flame with theirs. But know above all else you’re not alone - it happens to the best of us.

Ultimately, that’s what peer support is - a sharing of hope and light. It’s knowing you’re not alone.

And as long as we all keep doing that for one another…

THINGS WILL, IN FACT, WORK OUT.