What Belonging Looks Like in Peer Support

Supporting women through peer work has shown me how powerful it is simply to be able to show up as you are and be accepted. Before progress or confidence or anything else, there is belonging.

The first time someone realizes they don’t have to prove anything to me, that I’m not judging them, that we’re on even ground, something shifts. They visibly settle. Their posture eases, their voice steadies, and they can just exist. That’s where belonging begins. Not in perfection, but in relief. Knowing they don’t have to shrink here. When they understand I’m not going to comment when they’re eating or not eating, or on their body - something that’s been unfairly normalized - it creates a sense of safety that’s unexpected, rare, and welcome.

When someone feels that kind of safety, they can finally speak from their full self. They name the hard things, but they also begin to notice the good stuff they’ve been taught to overlook for years. My job is to hold space for both the struggles and the strengths, because real belonging makes room for all of it.

And there is so much power in simply feeling seen. To me, there is nothing better than feeling safe enough to describe an experience that previously made me feel alone, and someone says, “same.” The isolation fades. It doesn’t change what happened to you, but it might change how it lives in your body and transform something that feels heavy and shameful into something bearable. And for me it makes me think, See? I’m not crazy! They’ve felt it too.

I believe a complicated relationship with your body is deeply familiar for most women and girls, and yet so many of us carry stories that are never told. Stories that are as varied and unique as the ones they belong to. Still, I hear the same themes of shame and rejection across all ages and backgrounds. It’s ironic and sad that we often feel so alone in what we’re experiencing, yet many of us share these experiences and the pain that comes with.

And most of the time, recovery starts long before we see a drastic change. It starts when we realize we don’t have to do it alone.