Anti- Resolutions List: 3 Things I'm Not Doing in the New Year
The New Year brings new beginnings, and therefore, resolutions.
I’m not really a resolution kind of gal. I prefer to set goals on my own time and my own terms. And really, I don’t feel like the middle of winter is an ideal time to start something new. I’m still “hibernating.”
But when I learned about anti-resolutions, the stick-it-to-the-man part of me was intrigued. I have no interest in picking up a new habit, but dropping some old ones might be a good idea.
Here’s what I won’t be doing in 2025:
Feeling guilty when the day doesn’t go as planned.
This year has been an adjustment to office life after working mostly in restaurants for my entire adult life. The pace is incredibly different, and managing my time has taken some practice. It’s been a lot of trial and error before finally getting into a rhythm and routine that works for me.
Still, some of the most meticulously planned out days can change drastically. Appointments get rescheduled. Meeting times change. And sometimes, I’m just not feeling a certain task and come back to it later when I can put the energy I want into it. All of these things can disrupt my day and make me feel as if I’m not as productive as I want to be.
I’m slowly learning to let that go.
This year, if the plans aren’t planning, I will not feel guilty.
Ignoring my inner wisdom.
After years of trying to peel back the layers of trauma and find what’s at the roots (see what I did there?) of my mental struggles, this seems to be an overarching theme for me.
I spent much of my life feeling like everyone else knew better than me. Public education told me I would not be valuable as a knowledge worker. Conservative American culture replaced my moral compass and self-confidence as a woman. Food rules took the place of hunger and fullness cues.
The worst part - or best, depending on how you want to look at it - about this mistrust with myself is that my intuition is right way more often than not. Turns out my inner wisdom is pretty damn wisdom-ous.
But knowing that is one thing, and tricking my anxiety into acting on it is a whole other. So this year, I will not ignore my inner wisdom, I will listen and believe her, and make an effort to act accordingly.
Trying to be everything for everyone.
I super hate being all, “I’m an empath,” but I will say it really gets to me when I see anyone suffering or in need of anything. I’m sure many of you can relate that you just want to help everyone with everything, which is neither realistic nor healthy.
I am also part of the sandwich generation, which I recently was disappointed to learn describes the folks who are helping out their aging parents while also raising babies. This means that I do have to be somewhat responsible for others, but sometimes my mind wanders to “am I doing enough?” and “what more could I be doing?”
That’s when I should probably take a step back and assess what is truly in the scope of my control. Trying to be everything for everyone will never work and when I inevitably fall short I’ll end up blaming myself and not, you know, the unreasonable expectations that are put on all of us.
This year, I will not be trying to be everything for everyone. Sometimes it’s not going to happen and I have to step up, but I plan to delegate more and accept help when I can.
If you have any resolutions, anti-resolutions, or just plain goals that you want to accomplish this year, my New Year’s wish for you is that you do it with clarity and most importantly gentleness and self-compassion.
